Feb 19, 2024

Burn the Servers - Preface and Index

✍️ by 404 Author Not Found

"I'm the son

And the heir

Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar

I am the son and heir

Of nothing in particular”

— The Smiths, “How Soon is Now”

“How many times have you heard someone say,

‘If I had his money, I could do things my way?’

But little they know that it's so hard to find

One rich man in ten with a satisfied mind”

— Porter Wagoner, “A Satisfied Mind”

🇫🇷Preface🍸

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Savoring a sunset in the south of France at the Fitzgerald Bar. Early autumn vibes, romantic musings, and a vodka martini in hand. Nostalgia hits as memories flood back. Love lingers in the air. A moment to reflect on choices, cherish memories, and embrace the beauty of life's journey🌅✨

Scene: A sunset in the south of France.

Tonight finds me sitting at the Fitzgerald Bar on its seaside terrace. It's a piano bar in the Hotel Belles Rives with a lot of history.

Judging by the position of where the sun sits in the sky, it's early autumn. Summer hasn’t quite relented. This unbuttoned white linen shirt still feels right. So does this vodka martini. I have always believed in romantic love—maybe it was my parents who taught me, maybe it was just a love of the idyllic story. Back then, I found myself in a place where there was no path to a happy ending, let alone love.

It was just over three years ago that I was here with them. I was really with her, but they were all here, too. Back then, she was the only thing that mattered to me—and it's been that way since the day I met her. Nothing has changed, at least not in that respect. I will always love her.

When last here, during that frenetic summer, I couldn’t afford a room. I still can’t. I can, however, afford a good stiff martini. The view is, thankfully, free. The cottage I stayed at across the street from the bar is still there. You should go ahead and look that one up as well. Especially if you’re an admirer of F. Scott Fitzgerald.

I walked by the cottage several times this weekend and noticed that the shutters were open and the lights were on. One morning, I heard the voices of a family enjoying the hotel breakfast on the stone patio perched under a blue umbrella. Not just any color blue. That shade of blue that only exists on the Riviera.

A drink, a sunset, a terrace in the south of France. It's not a bad place to sit and reminisce. To rewind the tape, look back on the story of your life and wonder what might have been. To consider all the choices you have made—the ones you wish you could undo, the ones that still make you smile, and the ones that make your stomach churn when you so much as dare to think of them. And, yes, the ones that complete you.